He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize