Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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