Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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