so that wasnt chicken after all
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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