Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
