we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
