My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
