i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
