you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
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I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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