Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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