if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
