Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
