I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
