I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just cut my nipple shaving
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize