She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize