love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
