fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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