I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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