The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
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Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize