too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
