you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
