i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
