So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
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Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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