just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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