I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
