just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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