There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
