I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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