That's when you crack a 10am beer
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize