we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
