So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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