i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Randomize