i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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