so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
