I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm bleeding and have questions
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize