We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
