the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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