I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
