On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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