Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I am naked and annoyed.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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