this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize