cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
