we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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