He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
