she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
