But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
