At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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