if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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