the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
