i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
