He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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