God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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