Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize