I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
