On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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