The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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