Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
