Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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