I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
