thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
