I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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