Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
