I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
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