Having a random hookup so left but love u
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize