And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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