Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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