Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
