Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
