And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
