I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
