Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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