What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
