The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
