I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
