A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
