is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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