New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
zippers are such a cool invention
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
