dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
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You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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