Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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