I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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