no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
